The other
day, after an extra hot Venti Caramel Macchiato I went for a brisk walk in the
balmy 94-degree weather. Caffeine will make you do that. That’s why I
prefer whiskey. Anway, I digress; I think you may have noticed I do that a lot,
again it’s the caffeine. As a matter of fact, I’m drinking another Venti
outside my local Starbucks as I speak, so to speak—I do most of my blogging
here. Sitting across from me at this moment is an old homeless guy. It was
the only spot left and I didn’t want to make him think I was shunning him.
He is babbling incessantly, I can’t understand what he is saying though, could
be something profound, but probably not. Should I offer him a venti Caramel
Macchiato? I’m torn. I’ve seen him before and noticed cups by his side that
other customers have undoubtedly bought for him. But does he really need the
caffeine? And if I buy him a decaf—
Wait a
minute. He’s getting up and he just said, “Don’t, don’t, no,
no . . .” And again something indecipherable. Problem solved,
he’s picked up his bags and strolled away. Now I feel really bad. Could have at
least offered him an iced tea. I’ll make a mental note to do that next time I
see him.
Damn!
There I go again with the digressing.
Back to
the brisk walk and my synchronistic moment.
As I
walked past the storefronts I noticed a stenciled sign in one of the windows: Internet
Marketing Campaigns beginning at just $2,000.00 a month. Free 30 minute
consultation
That’s
what was missing . . . a campaign (have you noticed I love
using those little dot, dot, dot thingies?). For the past three weeks I
had just been flailing away: a website here, Facebook page there, Twitter
account and this lonely blog which is now viewed regularly by four people—not
counting myself.
But
$2,000.00 a month? I don’t think so. A free thirty minute consultation I could
afford.
I
confidently opened the door, and with my head held high, entered. Looking every
bit the well-heeled businessman with my cargo shorts, flip-flops and purple
tee-shirt (I only wear that one on laundry day) I surveyed the vast office
space; a man sitting at one of the desks in this two-desk office jumped up and
walked over with hand extended.
He asked—naturally
enough—what he could do for me. I explained that I wrote a novel and I would
soon be a bestselling author, so if he didn’t want to be left behind he better
jump on the bandwagon before this train leaves the station. And to his
incredulous and slightly bemused look I quickly added that I had been asked to
join a very prestigious writing group.
Well, that
stopped him dead in his tracks. His look of scorn turned instantly into one of
newfound respect. He asked what the novel was about. I gave him one of those
business cards that I leave at the Starbucks.
And that
is when the synchronistic moment occurred.
He stared
at the card and said, “Isn’t that strange? We have the same name.” And then he
gave me his card: William Crawford, MBA. Under his name was one word in all
caps: PRESIDENT I had gone straight to the top in this two-man office. The
PRESIDENT, my namesake, said his middle name was David. I exclaimed, “Mine
too!” It was a lie, but hey, you’ve gotta run with it when you have the chance.
I
explained what I had been doing to promote the book, and he said I was doing
everything right, just should have started my social media platform months
before the book came out. Too late for that.
The good
news is that since we have the same name, he took down my email and phone
number and said he would brainstorm over the weekend and come up with some new
wrinkles for me. He knows I can’t spend $2,000.00 a month, but again, since we
have the same name he would work something out. Whatever that means.
Hopefully,
you’ll be seeing a link in the next couple of blogs for his company—that means
I got a real good deal.
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